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| If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. [Image Source: Google Images] |
1. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.
2. Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} It’s just that…your numbers not in it.
3. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
4. It’s a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
5. If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
6. If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
7. Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
8. See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
9. A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her. “I will stop loving you when all the roses die”
10. Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
11. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
12. Say “I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.” and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.
13. People call me John, but you can call me tonight!
14. Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
15. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
16. Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
17. Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is…
18. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
19. Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kicking!
20. There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
21. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in!
22. I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.
23. Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and baby I’m lost at sea!
24. If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.
25. Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
26. Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutie pie like you!
27. I’ve noticed you noticing me and I’m just giving you notice that I’ve noticed you!
28. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
29. If you were a booger I would pick you first.
30. (Pointing at a spot on a girls face) You got a little beautiful on your face.
31. You owe me a drink; you’re so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
32. Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
33. [Man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [Women] NO! [Man] Maybe u didn’t hear me…. I said u look really fat in those pants!
34. What do you and the weather have in common? You’re both Hot!
35. I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
36. If I had a garden I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.
37. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
38. Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
39. Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
40. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
41. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
42. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
43. I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!
44. Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see!!!
45. Here’s $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
46. I’m going outside to make out… care to join me?
47. Bond….James Bond
48. I must be in heaven because I’m looking at an angel!
49. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
50. Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice!
51. Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you’re blowing me away.
52. Hi, I’m Mr. Right–I heard you were looking for me.
53. Polar Bear (Huh) I just wanted to break the ice.
54. Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?
55. I must be lost… because I see paradise.
56. (Steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what’s your name?
57. You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
58. If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.
59. You’re ugly, but you intrigue me…
60. We’re like Little Caesar’s, we’re hot and ready.
61. (To someone working somewhere where a counter separates you) You’re like a drug to me. Good thing you’re over the counter.
62. Are you a clock? Cause you’re ticking me off.
63. Girl you’re like a car accident, because I just can’t look away.
64. I’m going to need a tall glass of cold water, because baby your making me HOT!
65. How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice!
66. (She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date’s with you and me.
68. Excuse me, did you just fart?
69. Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y’all!
70. Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
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| 30 Sarcastic Sisterly Advises |
Syndicated from: She Exists
