Tag Archive | "Random Musings"

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Meray Log

Posted on 27 January 2012 by Tea Server

“Behind the mask, the dancer is the dance, ever and always.”
[Deepak Chopra, War of the Worldviews: Science vs. Spirituality]
Good read. Evolution. Creationism. Reductionism. Vitalism. Entropy.
So many things to learn about. So much wonderment in life. I need constant inspiration, and that is why, I want to leave no time for sentimental degradation. Did I actually say that?
On the other hand, I guess I should just stop wishing people good luck. For whoever happens to know me that way, fails. Why? Why me?
I want my dreams to turn into reality. It’s just that bloody simple.
No, I am not blaming/complaining/whining about anything/anyone. Don’t get that idea.
It’s just that…I seem to be the pivot of good and bad in most situations others go through. This…may not make sense.
Syndicated from: Amna’s Blog

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The road back

Posted on 24 December 2011 by Tea Server

I need time to come back, I need to be back.

-random musings at 10 o clock in the morning between General Chemistry BIO135 and Zoology I BIO101.
-looking around at people that surround me for now, wondering how they would shape me in the time to come.
-yes, that insignificant piece of bullshit. I know how to turn things around. B)
-presentations, assignments, lab reports, so much work. I kinda like it, you know. This is what I wanted. This is it. It’s here. :) Thank.you.God.
-but in all my gratefulness, there is that tiny spark of regret that comes flashing back. If, only if. Sigh.
-I shall not go down that road again, NO.
-Kia hota, jo mein khud se juda hota, kaash keh  maut mein apni jiya hota.
-I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free yeah!
-yes, that. Exactly that ^.
-Time is one fast thing, man. Like, sheeeeeet.
-And yes, I want some people to sit back and relax. Look at life in perspective and be grateful for everything that they have, and every person that matters to them, and who care for them. Thank the One above, yo.
-I.want.to.write. :’(
-And I want you to tell me each and everything. So that I know what to talk about, what to feel worried about, what to be happy about. It’s a shame, it really is, not knowing everything bothering you.
-a plethora of music, right, left, centre. Gotta thank Mr. Big Brother. :D
-and this. Sigh.
I know why I am here, I know it.
Syndicated from: Amna’s Blog

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The Window in the Room

Posted on 13 December 2011 by Tea Server

Me: I love the window in my room.
K: Windows are lovely inventions. No kidding.
Me: Kia baat ki hai. :O
My window is so…interesting. All sorts of thoughts take place there. Happy thoughts, forgotten thoughts, depressing thoughts, intellectually stimulating thoughts, I-should-get-a-move-on thoughts, thoughts-that-put-a-silent-smile-on-your-face thoughts…
*pause*
I should stop.
K: I’d love for you to continue.
Me: Its just basically my blog’s second home. O.o
K: O.o
Me: Exactly.
I wonder if that does that to anyone who sits at that place. Try sitting there when you come next time.
K: Nahe na. It doesn’t work that way. That’s your ‘get-away’.

Oh get-away, let me get-away soon.
Syndicated from: Amna’s Blog

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No, this is not very serious stuff

Posted on 08 December 2011 by Tea Server

I mean it. The title.

Its just, I had a moment. A five-minute-rant, so to speak.

As much as you’re an insignificant piece of bullshit, I don’t want you interfering with the way I’ve chosen to be.
Its like your own incompetency will pull me down. I.don’t.want.that.happening. Shoo. 

Go to hell.

Rant over. You really don’t mean much to me AT ALL. But, I will make sure I am what I want to be. And you can just go whine about it. Muhahahahahaha.


Peace, yo.
Syndicated from: Amna’s Blog

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Winter’s coming over

Posted on 27 November 2011 by Tea Server

Kuch log rooth kar bhi
Lagtay hain kitnay pyare.

The answer my friend
Is blowin’ in the wind.

Ever wondered where all the hate, love and indifference comes from? All the facets of emotion. Of things we ‘feel’. Something neurotic. Something to do with the ball of nerves sitting up above your eyes. 

Ofcourse I am feeling so much. Yet, I am saying nothing.
My tongue is locked. My hands are hand-cuffed.
I am numb.

Gripping irony, scintillating horror pushing its limits. New and unimagined fears cascading my tomorrow. My present has been jeopardized by the threads of existence. Like thrashing drums bombarding my ear-drum-skin with a moment so hard-hitting, it stings, it hurts, it pains, it pierces. It is fatal, in the moment.

Change, you ask? What graceful talks I present to you, when its time to let you know? What moment of truth shall I reveal when its time to reveal it all. And I let the little buzzing noise control me, take over me. I am asking for peace from something that is not ready to give it away. I am thinking what I don’t have to think. I am a loser, because I am looking at lands that do not mean anything. So what do we do now?

Winter’s coming over. I am looking back one year ago. Life was so strange. So different. Am I wishing for those times again? Am I working like I used to work? Am I the person I used to be?

Questions that will eat the inside of me. Carve out a place out of me. And take me away from me.

Please let it stop.
Syndicated from: Amna’s Blog

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