By D. Asghar

Statutory Warning: For those who would be seething in rage and resort to the usual profanity, and abuse; I would humbly request to refrain from reading the post. This post may not be feasible for your brain cells.

Most of Pakistan, loves to hate a man. A man to them who is the “inventor and master of corruption”, who has supposedly “robbed” this resourceful nation blind. According to them, he is the reason for all the evils, that plague the promised land of Quaid. Simply speaking, how could someone, who is so villainous, a plunderer, who gets so much disdain, can possibly survive. There are people who are baying for his blood and utter nothing but filth about him. Subject of almost every possible and imaginable form of character assassination, ridicule and remembered in the ugliest terms of any language, spoken or understood in Pakistan.

As much as people hate and loathe him, berate and chastise him, he emerges with a smile. The other thing that irks his opponents is, with every single such instance, he never retaliates, in that fashion and disregards all the petty nonsense. OK, all the haters, abusers, you can deny all you want, but you cannot deny the following 10 things about, the President of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari:

1) Ever since he has taken office, he has relinquished the power of his office, rather than usurping or hoarding it.

2) He talks about supremacy of Constitution. He wants the institutions to work within their framework.

3) He is not vindictive, has not followed the politics of enmity.

4) He has tried to forge alliances with all parties across the isle to move this fragile democracy forward. His politics is based on dialogue and not dislodge.

5) AAZ is a statesman of a President. He takes decisions based on consensus of the Parliament and not his personal whims.

6) Despite his endless character assassination, he has not retaliated with low blows or other nonsense.

7) What ever he says he tries to live up to it. Case in point his recent departure to Dubai for medical reasons and his timely return as promised.
His mind is much sharper than his adversaries. He comes up surprises and ideas, that no one ever anticipates.
9) He demonstrates patience and practices that in every adversity.

10) He represents a party that strives to build a strong, collective and cohesive federation.

Now with all of this being said, is he perfect? No he is not. Has he made mistakes, Of course a lot. But the bigger question here is who hasn’t. With a year or so left in his Presidency, his recent interview on TV with GEO, has been quite an eye opener for many. Like a very famous anchor of TV tweeted that, “AAZ is the most misunderstood politician in Pakistan, and he should appear in media more often.”

Folks, people come and go. Like everyone he will too. Disagree with him all you want, but there are certain things that are undeniable and quite irrefutable. I am not a member of the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP), nor an office bearer. I am just an observer, like many of you, and I disagree with a lot of his moves. But cannot and will not be able to come up with anything, that refutes the items mentioned above.

P S: Now opponents, ready set go…..ready to catch the abuse. Hope that moderation at PTH is still being enforced to edit the foul language

January 4: Salmaan Taseer, the governor of Punjab, is shot by one of his bodyguards near his home. Taseer dies of his wounds soon afterwards.His killer, Malik Mumtaz Qadri  disagreed with Taseer’s opposition to Pakistan’s blasphemy law. Salmaan Taseer wasbusinessman and politician who served as the 26th governor of the province of Punjab from 2008 until his assassination in early 2011. He was member of the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP). Taseer was also the chairman and CEO of the First Capital and Worldcall Group.

January 18: Earthquake of magnitude 7.2 hit Karachi. The epicenter 45 kilometers west of Dalbandin in Balochistan.  The epicenter is located in a sparsely populated area.

January 27: A US diplomat, Raymond Davis, kills two men on a motorbike in Lahore allegedly in self defence while a companion of the diplomat, who is also an American citizen, crushed to death a bike rider in a hit-and-run incident, following the shooting. He works for US private security firm and contractor with the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).  Later on March 16, 2011, Davis was released after the families of the two killed men were paid $2.4 million  as blood money and departed Pakistan.

30 March: The 2nd semifinal of the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 was played between India and Pakistan at  Mohali (India). India won the match by 29 runs and qualified for the 2011 Cricket World Cup Final. This match has been perceived by Pakistani former cricketers and fans as a great let down from Pakistan due to their weak fielding and batting despite good talent shown previously from the Pakistani captain and players in the 2011 ICC cup^. The match drew 67.3 million viewers in India alone, and an estimated 150 million viewers worldwide. Three Pakistan citizens, including an actor Liaquat Soldier died out of shock after Pakistan lost the match. Another person was killed and 50 others were injured in aerial firings during the match in Karachi.

May 2: The head of the Islamist militant group al-Qaeda “Osama bin Laden” was killed in (Abbotabad) Pakistan by a United States special forces military unit. The raid on bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan was launched from Afghanistan.After the raid, U.S. forces took bin Laden’s body to Afghanistan for identification, then buried it at sea within 24 hours of his death.

22 May: Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan attacked the Pakistan Naval Station Mehran in karachi.  Aircraft stationed in the base were destroyed using rocket propelled grenades, including a helicopter and two, out of the Pakistan Navy’s four aircrafts. The Zarrar Battalion of the Special Service Group responded to the attack, with the military killing four of a claimed force of 8-20 attackers at a cost of ten of their own men in an operation that lasted 15 hours. The remaining assailants are believed to have been captured or escaped and an unexploded suicide jacket and live grenades were recovered after the operations

May 24: Hakim Ali Zardari, father of President Asif Ali Zardari died at the age of 81 years at a private ward in the Pakistan Institute of Medical Sciences Hospital in Islamabad. He was a member of the Pakistan Peoples Party, the country’s largest political party. He entered politics in 1965, helping in the campaign of Fatima Jinnah, the sister of the founder of Pakistan, against the then military dictator Gen Ayub Khan. He was member parliament thrice and also served as a federal minister twice.

November 22: Husain Haqqani resigned as Pakistan Ambassador to the United States following claims of his alleged affiliation with the Memogate  (controversy about an alleged Pakistani memo seeking the help of the US Government)

November 26: A NATO attack on two Pakistani border checkposts in Salala in the Baizai subdivision of Mohmand Agency in FATA kill 24 soldiers of the Pakistan Army. This attack resulted in a deterioration of relations between Pakistan and the United States. The Pakistani public reacted with protests all over the country and the government took measures adversely affecting the US exit strategic from Afghanistan including the evacuation of Shamsi Airfield and closure of the NATO supply line.

Benazir Bhutto , the clear foreign policy  leader.
Benazir Bhutto was a  political leader of Pakistan whose charm and charisma swept the people’s vote towards Pakistan Peoples Party in elections all over the country. From Zulfikar Ali Bhutto’s dynamic, populist political legacy  to Benazir Bhutto’s determined thrust towards democratic people’s rule we see how this young, Oxford educated leader

 Raza Habib Raja
This article tries to evaluate the politician Benazir Bhutto and the way she affected her party and the Pakistani political landscape. Since the article tries to adopt a CRITICAL approach therefore it points her weaknesses besides appreciating her strengths.

Cult of personality which has become somewhat of a rarity in the West is an integral part of the political culture here. Such personality cults form around Political leaders, particularly famous ones, in our part of the world. Strong political leaders are not merely the reflection of the society but are often strong enough to affect it. Late Benazir Bhutto was one of such political personalities. Charismatic personalities are often riddled with contradictions and like all such personalities she also had her strengths and weaknesses.

Benazir Bhutto though it is not often acknowledged was in many ways Pakistan’s only true liberal leader. Compared to her charismatic father who was ready to manipulate religious sensitivities to extract political mileage, Benazir Bhutto knew where to stop. Yes, she was pragmatic and like all politicians acted in rational self interest-Politics is after all realpolitiks- but she did not try to whip religion for that purpose.

Those who believe in a secular, liberal and plural Pakistan, like to remember Jinnah for his 11th August speech; likewise I would like to remember Benazir Bhutto through a statement she made in early 1990s when she said “Insanoon ke hath Paon Katne munasib Nayee Samajte. Khuda Zalim Nayee Hai. Zalim Quaneen ko Islami nayee manti” (We do not think amputating hands and legs of human beings is an appropriate thing to do. God is not cruel. I do not think that harsh laws can be Islamic). This statement, though now rarely quoted caused quite a stir in early 1990s. In fact the Imam of Badshahi Mosque even issued a fatwa against her. Other than her, I have never heard ANY politician utter such a statement. I wish that this statement had started a wave where people could have mustered enough courage to actually start a critical discourse on religious laws and on the role of religion in their lives. Sadly it merely created short term controversy and print media of those days lapped on it for creating sensational headlines. The statement could not define her legacy but nevertheless is an important indication of the stuff Benazir Bhutto was made of.

Benazir Bhutto inherited the party from Bhutto but in many ways she earned her title. After all when her brothers chose to stay outside and indulge in militant tactics she decided to adopt the political course and tried to engage with the supporters of her party. Even legacy politics need charismatic inheritors who can engage with the masses. It is that kind of mass populism which acts as a cancelling agent to religious fervour and its political manifestation at the mass level. Benazir Bhutto could do it brilliantly despite the fact that her Urdu was not as fluent as her father’s.

Her biggest achievement for the PPP was that she was able to glue the party after him. Her stature which was underpinned by much more than her blood linage ensured that unity prevailed. While it helped the party in the transitory phase as it needed a strong leader but in the longer run has proven counterproductive as legacy politics has become too entrenched.

In legacy politics the direction of a political party is often controlled by the cultish leader. PPP’s direction from 1986 owed largely to her vision and political outlook. PPP changed with times and Benazir while holding on to the legacy politics was very willing to embrace newer ideas. As socialism waned globally, Benazir was quick to reform her party’s ideological outlook and PPP started to transform from a centre left to economically conservative and socially liberal party. In fact the privatization program started with her tenure. She was also extremely keen on bringing in foreign investment and her second stint as Prime Minister witnessed huge investments in the power sector as several Independent Power Projects (IPPs) were set up. The move which was severely criticised by subsequent Nawaz Sharif government as being “unfair” to Pakistan, ultimately proved one of the most beneficial economic decisions taken by her government. As Pakistan suffered from terrible electricity shortages, the situation would have been virtually catastrophic if there were no IPPs.

Politically she was a realist though knew how to balance the pragmatism with ideological stance of the party. Her pragmatism emanated from her experience as a Prime Minister particularly her first tenure. She quickly realized that in Pakistan the “deep state” held all the keys and if her party aspired to have power, it could not go totally against the so called establishment. Therefore when Nawaz Sharif conspired to remove her from power in 1990, she returned him the favour in 1993 when she supported Ghulam Ishaq Khan in his efforts to remove him.

Moreover despite having liberal outlook she had no stupid romantic notions about militant parties like MQM. She was firmly behind the 1995-96 operation and understood that action was needed to eradicate militancy. She was pretty firm and did not yield to blackmailing tactics even when the killings mounted. At one time, corpses were being daily found in bags with chits attached to chest stating “Naseer Ullah Baber ke liey Tuhfa” (A gift for Naseer Ullah Baber).

I think it was her administrative quality which perhaps was her weakest trait. Her second tenure was riddled with severe controversies and in fact it alienated her core support which was reflected in 1996 elections. Although it is often claimed that in 1996 establishment rigged the elections but the reality was that PPP voter simply did not come out to vote. In fact throughout Punjab and NWFP, its candidates were getting less than 10,000 votes per constituency in the elections for national assembly seats.

It was the controversies of that tenure which continued to cast a deep shadow over the rest of Benazir’s life. All of the infamous cases are related to that period.

Despite going into exile in late 1990s, Benazir continued to have a lot of influence on the local politics and once Nawaz Sharif was again removed, her popularity witnessed resurgence. PPP became a key party after 2002 elections and in the last years of Musharraf regime was the most sought after party by the establishment and US alike for tackling rising extremism and for ensuring trouble less continuance of the battle against Islamic militants.

Things started to move in an uncontrollable direction after the lawyers movement started. Although now the PPP tries to call the movement “reactionary” but the fact is that during her life Benazir never publicly criticized it despite the fact that she knew that from pragmatic point of view, the movement though weakening Musharraf could also adversely affect her leverage. In fact PPP selectively supported the movement. An intelligent person like Benazir would have never supported the lawyers’ movement if it was totally “reactionary” particularly at that point. Of all the politicians, she was the best in striking a balance between political necessity and ideological orientation. In fact the fact that PPP in post Benazir time adopted delaying tactics allowed the right wing elements to literally hijack the movement. Had she been alive, things would have taken a better turn as she was far more astute than her successor.

Her death has obviously been a big blow to Pakistan’s prospects of becoming a more tolerant and moderate political entity. Religious extremism in fact benefited the most from her tragic death.

Moreover her tragic death also solidified the legacy politics as her successor had to be from her nearest relatives to keep the party intact. Dynasty politics became further entrenched and even Bilawal had to be renamed as Bilawal Bhutto Zardari. It is claimed by the PPP that BB Sahiba nominated the current Joint Chairman, Asif Ali Zardari. By following him, they are actually following her desires. And yet the ones who were near to Benazir during her lifetime and even her final moments like Sherry Rehman, Naheed Khan and Amin Fahim are now out of the limelight. If her wishes were that dear to PPP then people on whom Benazir had trust should not be given such treatment.

To be fair to the current chairman, PPP led government has tried to reach out to various ethnicities and tried to adopt reconciliatory approach. In some constitutional matters the party has fared quite well and has successfully brokered an improved NFC award. Provincial autonomy has also improved. However the quality of governance remains a problematic area.

It has to be understood that eventually people judge a government not merely on its ideological orientation but also on its actual performance in economic and administrative realm. And yes there will always be those who despite ideologically agreeing with a liberal party will nevertheless assess the actual performance and vote against it. In USA the registered Democrats far outnumber the registered Republicans and yet there have been Republican presidents and legislatures. Even in the recent midterm elections the conservatives make a strong comeback.

Merely calling the critics as “Pseudo Liberals” or members of naive “chattering classes” or “closet conservatives” will not do the trick. Pakistan Peoples Party has to improve its governance and since it is the mainstream liberal party it is critical that it improves. Likewise whipping Benazir’s and Bhutto’s name won’t make the issues with it disappear. A Shaheed may act as a powerful rallying force in one election but cannot deliver performance. Post Benazir PPP needs to realize that.

It’s not easy taking your problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

Image via Wikipedia

Something mysterious ails the country’s president. The opposition, inside and outside parliament, is calling for early elections, ostensibly to pre-empt an army takeover. The robes seem ready to bring their gavels crashing down on the government. The rightwing is standing with guns drawn, ready and aimed. Pakistan is fast losing friends in Washington. The outside world at large is tired of what it sees as Pakistan’s double game. And most worryingly, the boys in uniform are up to their tricks again.

Have things ever looked this bad for the Pakistan Peoples Party? Not in a long time. The most telling part of it all is that no two people, either in the party or among the talking heads watching from the sidelines, will give you the same answer to any question, whether it’s about what exactly is wrong with Zardari’s health, if the president with nine lives still has some cards left to play, and whether there is something significant about the timing of a confrontation that no side can foreseeably win.

Late Thursday morning, even as a Supreme Court judge tried to convince Husain Haqqani’s counsel that the institution she had apprehensions about – the army – was also seeking ‘due process of law’ by coming to the court, everyone was wondering: how long to the point of no return? And then the prime minister, the gift that just keeps on giving, broke the kettle and sank the boats. A fatal collision between the government and the army was in the offing, if it hadn’t already occurred.

Thundering away before a gathering at the Pakistan National Council of Arts, the prime minister warned that a conspiracy was being hatched to send an elected government packing but promised that it would live to fight another day.

And he didn’t stop there: he reminded the khakis, even if indirectly, that as the chief executive, all institutions of the state worked under the prime minister and all state officials got their salaries from the state exchequer. Sure, the army has sacrificed much in the war on terror but it was the elected government that had given it the mandate to fight that war in the first place and secured ownership of it from the people. No army can fight alone. The message was clear. And ominous.

And finally, the real insult: the Inquiry Commission on the Abbottabad Operation was formed to answer the basic question of what Osama had been doing in Pakistan all this time, the prime minister demanded. Why then was it now being used to ask the government how many visas it had issued and to whom?

When your beard is on fire, it’s a folly to ask for a match to light your smoke. And yet, that’s exactly what the prime minister has done. For all practical purposes, he’s told the khakis if they cross a limit, the government will ask all the questions it hasn’t so far touched.

If there was ever a point of no return, this looked like it. But the question no one has an answer to yet is: why?

What has brought both the government and the army to this terminus? What does one want that the other is unwilling to, or cannot, concede? Why can the two sides no longer agree to a compensation value? Why doesn’t either side see any point in negotiating any more? What has the army asked of the civilians that has made it prohibitively expensive, even impossible, for them to turn back?

After the boys got Haqqani’s scalp, most people expected things to settle down. But it is increasingly obvious now that the memo was just an excuse: that silly yet fatal mistake the army was waiting for the government to make so that it could go for the kill. So, what more does it want now?

Another extension for Shuja Pasha, some are asking? Maybe, but that doesn’t seem like a concession the government would sacrifice its term over. Zardari’s head? An interim set-up minus the president? Or does this have to do with the economy? That the government warned the army of economic ruin unless the Nato supply lines were reopened and the boys wouldn’t budge – not even if the civilians offered to work with them on national security issues in order to give political legitimacy to their agenda?

They say there is nothing in the world more stubborn than a corpse: you can hit it, you can knock it to pieces, but you cannot convince it. Does that explain the prime minister’s tone? What would he have to lose if he were convinced the game was already up? Was he just the silly cock crowing on his own dunghill? Or was it that between strengthening its armour and sacrificing itself or just limping forward on one leg and remaining alive, the PPP has finally made its choice? Remember how after the May 2 raid everyone criticised the government for missing the chance to show the public that the greatest threats to national security were in fact created and compounded by the army itself? Is the PPP seizing the moment now?

Perhaps, the turn of events is just the final culmination of the PPP’s larger political strategy that many warned was bound to reach its limit sooner rather than later. Zardari’s games worked with those who saw politics as a dhanda: the politicians who were amenable to, and could be incentivised with, inducements. But the strategy of sharing the spoils was ultimately going to prove inadequate with an army that considers itself above this game of give and take. That thinks it owns the game. Surrendering to it the national security and foreign policy domains would never have been enough. Ultimately, it would have wanted more. And perhaps now it does.

Those who argued that the army had its hands full and wasn’t interested in politics – especially not if the civilians got their act together – neither had their eyes on history nor their ears to the ground.

Will better sense prevail? Some would argue that for the PPP, it’s not the crisis it has to conquer now, but itself. Sometimes, if big enough, a crisis becomes your biggest asset. Rock bottom is good solid ground; a dead-end street just a place to turn around.

And then, say the optimists, Nawaz Sharif and PM Gilani are finally in touch again now, the army chief has gone off to the battle areas to show he’s not playing politics and the government is safer today than yesterday. Why be so glum?

But even if it may not be time for despair just yet, the army has to remember this: a real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. Back off boys!

(From The News, Pakistan)

© 2011, Mehreen Zahra-Malik. This article may not be reproduced in any form without providing an active attribution link/ reference to The Pakistan Forum. All attribution links within the article must also be retained.

LAHORE: Senior leader of Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) Aitzaz Ahsan on Saturday showed his concerns over contradictory statements of Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani regarding Pakistan Army, DawnNews reported. Speaking during a ceremony organised for celebrating the birth anniversary of Quad-i-Azam Mohammad Ali Jinnah, he said that the prime minister, while touring foreign countries says [...]

By Salman Masood for The New York Times

The military command in Pakistan issued an unusual refutation on Friday of rumors that it was planning to take power, publicizing a pledge by the top general that it is committed to democracy a day after the prime minister warned of conspiracies to subvert the civilian government.

But the pledge, by Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, did little to assuage anxieties about a possible coup in a country with a history of military interventions. The anxieties were reinforced on Thursday by an extraordinary outburst about just such a possibility from the normally soft-spoken prime minister, Yusuf Raza Gilani, who also said the military generals in Pakistan behaved as though they were “a state within a state” and that they should be accountable to Parliament.

“The army will continue to support democratic process in the country,” General Kayani was quoted as saying in a statement issued by the military command. It said General Kayani had made that pledge on Thursday as he visited troops stationed in the northwestern regions of Mohmand and Kurram.

General Kayani “dispelled the speculations of any military takeover and said that these are misleading and are being used as a bogey to divert the focus from the real issues,” according to the statement by the military.

However, General Kayani stressed that “there can be no compromise on national security,” alluding to the differences with the civilian government over investigations into a contentious memo that suggested the civilian government had sought help from the United States in trying to constrain the Pakistani military.

The public back-and-forth came as the Pakistan military’s relations with the United States, already aggravated by the memo issue, have plunged to new lows over a deadly American-led airstrike on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border last month that killed 26 Pakistani soldiers. Pakistan’s military has rejected results of a Pentagon inquiry that said both sides were at fault but that Pakistani forces opened fire first. In a new sign of the Pakistani military’s anger, a senior official said Friday it had canceled a planned visit by the head of the United States Central Command, Gen. James Mattis, to brief his counterparts on the Pentagon inquiry.

The tensions over the memo began after Mansoor Ijaz, an American businessman of Pakistani origin, wrote an op-ed article for The Financial Times in October saying that a Pakistani diplomat had asked him to deliver a memo to Adm. Mike Mullen, who was chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the time, after American commandos killed Osama bin Laden in a May raid on a Pakistan safe house. That raid, which deeply embarrassed Pakistan, raised questions about whether Bin Laden, the most-wanted fugitive Al Qaeda plotter of the Sept. 11 attacks, had been protected by elements of Pakistan’s military and intelligence service. Mr. Ijaz described the memo as saying that the civilian government sought help in preventing a possible coup, offering in exchange to dismantle part of the intelligence service.

Since then, the ruling Pakistan Peoples Party and the powerful military have been arguing over the veracity of the memo , which is seen as authentic by the military and as a conspiracy by the civilian government.

Husain Haqqani, the former ambassador to the United States, was forced to resign in November after allegations that he had orchestrated the memo, a charge he denies. Mr. Haqqani returned to the country and is barred from traveling abroad, a step seen as a violation of his fundamental rights, according to his lawyer.

The top generals have urged the country’s Supreme Court to investigate the origins of the memo. Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry said Friday that the court is pursuing those investigations but that it would not validate any army coup.

The statements by both Mr. Gilani and General Kayani signified that deep mistrust and tensions exist between the two sides.

“Things don’t look stable at all,” said Enver Baig, a former senator, who predicted that the “civil-military relations will not settle down peacefully.”

Filed under: Afghanistan, Pakistan, Pakistan Army, Pakistanis, United States, US Army Tagged: Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, Mansoor Ijaz, Mike Mullen, Pakistan, Pakistani Army, Pakistanis, Yusuf Raza Gillani

LAHORE POST

ISLAMABAD, Dec 16 (APP): Federal Minister for Information and Broadcasting Dr Firdous Ashiq Awan on Friday said that the elements who wanted to see clash among institutions would face disappointment.Talking to APP here, she said that strengthening of institutions lies in a consistent democratic system in the country.Pakistan Peoples Party is the symbol of stable and strong democracy, Dr Firdous said while expressing the confidence that the present government would complete its five-year democratic term despite numerous challenges.All the credit goes to the political acumen of President Asif Ali Zardari and reconciliation policy of Prime Minister Syed Yusuf Raza Gilani, she added.

The minister said that the PPP government is following the vision of Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto regarding politics of reconciliation in a successful manner.
The present government has introduced the culture of tolerance, reconciliation and respect for each other’s point of view, she added.
At present, Dr Firdous said there is no political prisoner in the country while judiciary and media are enjoying complete freedom.  This is evident from the fact that the government is moving on the path to strengthen democracy, she added.
The Minister said future of people is very much linked to the flourishment of democratic institutions.She said that the Constitution of Pakistan is very clear on distribution of power among the institutions. Following of the Constitution by all, the institutions can meet the expectations of masses.
Dr Firdous said that supremacy of the Parliament can only nourish the nascent democracy. The way the democratic government responded to the external challenges and aggression is exemplary, she added.The minister said that Pakistan’s role cannot be ignored to ensure peace in the South Asian region.

LAHORE POST – Struggle for a Judicious Society

Dear Zardari,

Came as soon as heard the news. Ah, unkind fate, you spin webs in which even spiders would become entangled. Ambition thwarted is cruel indeed. Man can scheme all his life, think he has taken care of all that stands between him and absolute power, and then find all that he has labored for disappear in a twinkle of an eye …

I decry the injustice and sympathize with you. I was also dealt with rather harshly on a certain matter of principle, a very long time ago, actually before time began. Obviously differences of opinion are not tolerated anywhere, especially by a very demanding boss.

One can take care of a meddlesome brother in law, see off a wife who has come uncomfortably close to the truth, buy off all and sundry, but what can one do when the fates decide to have a little fun, and the spirits come calling!

Old friend, I would never be rude enough to repeat what is now an open secret. Let’s not use language of the streets. Let’s just say that you are presently mentally challenged. And that gives me hope because I know you love challenges. I know you will fight the good fight. What do they know, who snicker behind your back, that how it feels when the spirits began to whisper to you uncomfortable truths, when the line between past and present becomes ever blurred, and the dead confront the living.

Mr. Zardari, note the formality , now that you are now being visited by the demons of your past, time to take stock perhaps of your options? Especially now that the articles 6 and 47 of the constitution of Pakistan beckon…

Unfortunately one of the terms of my plea bargain, under duress, stated that I could only advise human beings on a suitable course of action. Dictation or indication of a course of action was a definite no-no. Oh, how I wish lawyers had been invented at that time. Could have cut a much better deal. Anyhow I will tender advice and let you choose your own path.

As you well know article 6 deals with high treason as stated in sub clause (1). For individuals who have or have attempted to abrogate, subvert, suspend or hold in abeyance the constitution. The good news is, you have definitely not lost all your marbles because I just saw you shiver. Fear can only arise from comprehension of danger. You are in your senses enough to know then that high treason is a crime which, in Pakistan, is only committed by civilians. All your military dictators have remained and will remain immune to this clause. And it can have very permanent sort of consequences…

No million dollar lecture tours, no interviews on CNN or BBC, no nice semi-retirement in Dubai, or granting of interviews to rather charming reporters. A short trial, a long rope, a short drop, and it’s all over in three simple steps. And then a rather lavish mausoleum in either Nawab Shah or Garhi Khuda Baksh. Your choice of course, though I would recommend Nawab Shah as it never does to be too close to the in-laws

And in case you were wondering why are Rehman Malik and Farooq Naik not calling on you anymore allow me to draw your kind attention to subsection (b), which has the magic words aiding and abetting. They may be idiots but they are definitely not mad. At least not at this point of time. Ha, no swinging buddies these two!

And while we are all fascinated by the latest fancy gadgets, please remind Mr. Haqqani that BlackBerry texts are for amateurs. A whisper or two in the right ears works every time; and so very romantic…sigh!

Now if I may draw your attention to section 47. This one is positively benign compared to what we have just discussed. I am glad that you would have noticed there is a possibility of a second career here, which, if I may remind you, was very visibly absent in the first one unless you were thinking of becoming a mummy.

Sub section (1) straight away delves in the rather touchy subject of removal of a President on the grounds of physical and mental incapacity. And if this was not frightening enough it continues, so unfashionably, in the same section to mention impeachment for violating the constitution or gross misconduct.

So as far as I can see, the ISI wallas have you nicely trussed and stuffed up. I would seriously advise against trying to put up a resistance. These guys are mean. The mental incapacity could be very rapidly transformed into a physical one also.

My advice to you is to accept fate, and do as you are told, and live to fight another day. Please note my emphasis on the word live – a docile President or Ex. is at least breathing.

I would advise you to seriously consider this option .. and do remember what happened previously when you acted as your rather limited intelligence dictated .. having your brother in law bumped off in such crude manner was bad enough , but to facilitate the removal of such a charming lady .. beyond words .. certainly not my style throughout the ages .. my friend women are my tools for driving men mad with desire .. they rule the imagination !!

Spite never did anyone any good. Revenge needs purpose otherwise it is mere foolishness. Told you often enough that what women cherish is respect. The rather old fashioned village macho man preferred methods of yours were unlikely to impress a village dame let alone such a cultured individual. Anyway we all learn except that in your case there is now no need for further learning of any kind.

I beg leave now. I wish you luck in this, the twilight zone between sanity and insanity. How long you stay here depends on how much of a good mood are the creatures of your imagination. Answer their questions truthfully and there is hope still. The checkout is open at all times and you have enough credit with me to last several lifetimes. However you do remember the last line’s from my favorite song , don’t you? Here listen to this:

“Relax,” said the night man, “We are programmed to receive. You can check-out any time you like, But you can never leave!”

Yours truly

Arif Ali / AFP – Getty Images

A Pakistani boy drinks tea in a makeshift shelter at a livestock market ahead of Eid al-Adha in Lahore on Nov.5. The annual Islamic holiday, is marked by the ritual sacrifice after morning prayers of sheep, goats, cows and other livestock whose meat is then shared with the poor.

Mk Chaudhry / EPA

People carry posters of Pakistani cricketers Salman Butt and Mohammad Asif, who were sentenced by the London’s Southwark Crown Court to jail for their role in a fixing affair around a test match against England last year, during a protest in Multan on Nov. 3. The suspects were charged after an undercover reporter from the now defunct News of the World paper recorded Mazhar Majeed, the agent of the players, as saying he could arrange fixing schemes with Pakistan players. Butt was sentenced to 30 months and Asif received a sentence of one year. Teammate Mohammad Amir received a 6 month sentence.

Bilawal Arbab / EPA

Pakistani police officials inspect the site of a planted bomb blast in Karkhano market Peshawar, Nov. 2. One man was killed and at least 13 were injured when the bomb planted in a car exploded.

Aamir Qureshi / AFP – Getty Images

Supporters of Pakistani politician Imran Khan and chief of Tehreek-e-Insaf (Movement for Justice) party, burn a replica drone during protest rally in Islamabad, Oct. 28. Khan staged a rally along with tribal elders in Islamabad against the continued US drone attacks in tribal areas which they said were killing hundreds of innocent people. Nearly 60 US drone strikes have been reported in Pakistan so far this year, dozens of them since Navy SEALs killed Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden in the garrison city of Abbottabad in May.

Aamir Qureshi / AFP – Getty Images

Pakistani politician and chief of Tehreek-e-Insaf (Movement for Justice) party, Imran Khan, left, waves to supporters during protest rally in Islamabad on Oct. 28.

Rahat Dar / EPA

The gun of a member of the Pakistani police guard rests on a rooftop as supporters of the main opposition party Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz (PML-N) rally against the ruling Pakistan People Party, in Lahore, Oct. 28. The opposition protested against prolonged electricity outages and urged the government to take steps to address endemic corruption and price hikes.

Dsk / EPA

A still image from the video released by Taliban militants and made available to members of the media on Oct. 25, shows Swiss couple Daniela Widmer, 28, left, and Olivier David Och, 31, right, at an undisclosed location near the Pakistani-Afghan border, Oct. 15. Taliban militants holding the couple released the video in which the hostages call on the Swiss, Pakistani and the United States’ governments to release a Pakistani woman, Aafia Siddiqui, who has been convicted in the U.S. on charges of terrorism. Talibans have warned that if Aafia was not released, then their Islamic court would decide the fate of the Swiss and they will not hesitate to carry out any punishment, an indirect reference to the past executions. The Swiss couple was seized by gunmen on July 1 in the Loralai district after entering Pakistan from India.

A. Majeed / AFP – Getty Images

Pakistani internally displaced girls wait for food at the Jalozai camp in Nowshera district on Oct. 25. At least 18,000 people have fled their homes in Pakistan’s tribal district of Khyber. Families streamed out of the district, a flash point for Taliban and other violent groups on the NATO supply line into neighboring Afghanistan, after the army ordered them to leave because of military action going on in the area.

Arif Ali / AFP – Getty Images

Activists of ruling Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) light candles in remembrance of former first lady Nusrat Bhutto in Lahore on Oct. 24. Thousands of mourners led by President Asif Ali Zardari turned out for the burial of former Pakistani first lady Nusrat Bhutto, the mother of assassinated prime minister Benazir Bhutto. The widow of Pakistan’s first democratically elected leader, Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, and mother of Benazir Bhutto, died in Dubai at the aged 82 after a long illness.

Aamir Qureshi / AFP – Getty Images

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton leaves the Pakistani Foreign Ministry after talks with Foreign Minister Hina Rabbani Kharm, right. in Islamabad on Friday, Oct. 21, 2011. Clinton urged Pakistan to take “strong steps” to deny Afghan militants safe haven and to encourage the Taliban to reconcile after 10 years of fighting.