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Not always, what we dream of, comes along with a sense of belonging. And many a times, what we just get, comes with that sense of belonging, ONLY we don’t want to belong there. We want to feel, that sense of belonging, for the dream castle, we have been building for years. But we can’t. We, inadvertently, feel belonged in that shelter, right behind us. But desires don’t concede. Desires want the castle, to live and to surpass all the bystanders. But feelings keep going back to the shelter, to feel the belonging. This mutiny in the realm of heart, is as much horrendous as it sounds chic, in theory. You wish, you could void any of the two contracts, except that you end up breaching both of them.

Your heart yearns for the castle. The castle you fancy throughout your childhood, while playing with your imaginary friends. The castle you envisage during your teenage, when making big plans with your pals. The castle you think about, at night, in your bed and keep thinking about, until you fall in the trap of beauty sleep. The castle, about which you expound in front of others, jestingly but mean it the most secretly. The very castle, where your would-be life is all ha-ha he-he and more awesome than Barney Stinson’s.

And at the same time, heart finds it hard to betray the shelter. That shelter protects you when it starts pouring, and you have no where to lodge because the castle is still under construction. That shelter has always been a source of solace when you get exhausted. That shelter that is the place to unwind yourself when hopes are dashing on the opposite direction. That shelter you have always relied upon–You, subconsciously, believe that it’s-always-gonna-be-there. And you know very well, the treason against the shelter will seize you with a fit of self-odium. You don’t want that.

But you don’t want the shelter either. You want the castle. You just don’t feel you belong there. You think of leaving it unbuilt. But then again, you think perhaps, you will feel you belong there once the castle is built. And the feeling for the shelter, that was there through thick and thin, will erode itself.