Wrote this on my way back to the US after a winter break back home. It’s more of a diary entry, almost a stream of consciousness…

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below.

Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

                                                                             - Hamlet

I heard somewhere that the reason we love to meet our childhood friends is because they remind us of who we were when we were children. Kinnaird has the same effect on me. A trip to Lahore is incomplete without a slow and deliberate drive past that building, I hardly spent two years in. As I linger a little longer than needed at the traffic signal opposite the narnia from my past, I am reminded of a time, and a ‘me’ to re-align the axis and orbit of all my constellations.

How a light-hearted dalliance turned into a life-long love affair, I will never know. For some time, I thought it was the fact that coming from a co-education school, being one of the only three girls in my class, I was starved for female bonding. But I now know that is not the case. It was something far deeper…

Today, eighteen years later, my memories of Kinnaird are as vivid as they are fond. The dark brick buildings scattered behind the tall green gates, softened in character by the splash of carefree colours all over, sometimes autographed by the place’s more unhinged dwellers with tiny white signatures – referred to in good spirit as ‘Kinnaird’s souvenirs’. The endless corridors with countless notice-boards, making sure you really got to pick your poison…

An outsider would almost immediately place the population in three distinct categories: the temporary dwellers such as myself; the kachi kinnairdi’s, who didn’t have the benefit of the extended Kinnaird experience; and the pakki kinnairdi’s who had the previlege of living at the hostel in the college and would have fascinating stories of midnight pool parties and broken curfews to share…

That there was no ‘uniform’ was a concession constantly challenged by certain ‘others’, and apparently the district administration. To the temporary dwellers amongst us, absence of a uniform meant shorter bed-to-desk time, what with the tuitions and the academies and the science labs. But we were the odd lot. There would be visits by officials to make sure the girls were not going over-board. The college intelligence, as unclaimed as the modern day ISI, would almost always ring the proverbial bell, so the girls could unite in silent defense against an unsuspecting enemy with text book white crisp shalwars and duppattas and coloured shirts on the day of such inspection. And so, the tradition lived on …

There were two canteens: the traditional, bench-and-stone, and the ‘mobile’. The latter, true to its name, would often leave before you found it. The former was one of the busiest and loudest places on the campus, the girls and cats in equal proportions. There was a certain ‘Chaudhry Sahab” who acted true to his title for most part, and a certain canteen boy who we knew what you wanted before you knew it yourself. On rare occasions, I heard the girls would break into food-fights and water-fights, and the cats would have a field day. Such incidents would normally result in a mild slap on the wrist before the next ‘tutorial session’.

Tutorials were a class of their own. Distinguished speakers would be invited to speak on a variety of subjects, and the funniest of things would happen. I believe in hindsight, it was just as learning an experience for the speakers as for the audience…

Once, there was a speaker on HIV awareness. She delivered her lecture and opened the floor for questions. The silence was so complete you could hear your heart beat. Then she realized the error of her ways and distributed small white chits for the girls to write their questions on. If she was looking for response, she certainly got a tsunami.

She answered patiently, something to do with bucket loads of saliva that my memory is conveniently vague about, and referred back to that response some forty odd times.

At another time, there was a maulvi sahib at the altar. He delivered a lecture on Islam and on being a maulvi and was literally butchered for a comment he made about female stereotypes. He was tactful enough to pacify his sprightly audience with lighter humour, generously reciprocated, though I often wonder how the experience changed him as a person.

The college had its signature magazine, but it was the student newsletter titled “The Itch!” where the real stories made home. The library was rich, but it ‘itched’ that the cupboards would be locked.

Elections were serious business. A promise to hold mixed events was sure to win a vote. Girls would come up with pneumonics to help remember their name. “Remember PT, I like sports, my initials are TP”, and so forth. Short, straight, hard to miss. However, unlike the real world, here the contestants would be held to their word, the consequences of a broken promise being the loss of popularity, at that time, worse than death.

But perhaps the most revered event of the year would be the annual debate competition, housed in the campus, a mixed event, with debaters from other colleges including Aitchisons, Government College and Lahore College competing. You had to look your best that day. If you had been good to your elders, you could even be in the organizing committee and get to ‘escort’ the debaters around the campus. Small mercies.

The KC spirit was shy and reclusive, but it would make its appearance in the most touching of ways. My memory of the encounter is when after an event with guests speakers, the equipment playing the national anthem broke, and the girls took over with hardly a second’s adjustment. Very hollywood, I would agree, but being witness to a couple of such incidents, I would vouch for the KC spirit any way asked.

The fondest of memories would of course have names and become part of my life for the rest of my days. Whether it is a coffee-shop in London, an Afghani restaurant in Boston, or a chance encounter in the cyber-space, meeting a KC’ite from a lifetime ago is like an emotional botox. It purges and cleanses with a medicinal exactness.

Light, courage, love – and bucket-loads of memories! It is good to have a place you can never be too old for in life…

Citizens’ statement of concern about the democratic process in Pakistan democratic and safety of human rights defenders, to be released to the media on Jan 5, 2012 (to endorse, please enter your information in the form at this link)

We, the undersigned, express our grave concern that Pakistani human rights defenders are being threatened and intimidated for their stance in the ‘memogate’ case. We are also concerned at the danger this crisis poses to Pakistan’s democratic political process that had taken a step forward with the elections of 2008.

No elected civilian government in Pakistan has yet completed its tenure and handed over power to the next government following democratic elections. If the current government manages to do this, it will be a first step in an ongoing process that is essential to Pakistan’s peace, progress and prosperity in the long run.

Those under threat include former Ambassador of Pakistan to the US, Husain Haqqani, who returned to Pakistan and tendered his resignation in order to ensure a free and fair inquiry into the ‘memogate’ matter that he is accused of engineering.

The so-called ‘memogate’ affair revolves around a letter that Amb Haqqani is accused of sending to then US Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mullen allegedly at the behest of Pakistan’s President Asif Ali Zardari, seeking American help to prevent a military coup in Pakistan. Mansur Ijaz, an American businessman of Pakistani origin, delivered the note to former US National Security Advisor Gen. James Jones to pass on to Adml Mullen allegedly at Amb Haqqani’s behest. Amb Haqqani has denied writing any such memo at anyone’s behest or asking Ijaz to deliver it to anyone.

Amb Haqqani has been barred from leaving the country, which is a denial of his fundamental right as a free citizen of Pakistan. Under threat both by the ‘religious’ extremists and the security agencies, he is currently a virtual prisoner confined for his own safety to the Prime Minister’s residence.

Also facing threats is his lawyer, former Supreme Court Bar Association President, Asma Jahangir, who has termed the Supreme Court judgment of Dec 30, 2011 a “victory” for the security establishment that she alleges is behind the case.

Amb Haqqani’s wife, Farahnaz Ispahani, a Member of Pakistan’s Parliament, also threatened, is currently in the US where she had come for medical checkups. Columnist Marvi Sirmed, who has written fearlessly against the ‘religious’ extremists and in support of Amb Haqqani, has also been receiving threats, Columnist Marvi Sirmed, who has written fearlessly against the ‘religious’ extremists and in support of Amb Haqqani, has also been receiving threats, as has senior journalist Najam Sethi. There are numerous other journalists and activists who live under threat for their outspoken views; some are forced to seek politial asylum abroad. This is essentially the case with anyone in Pakistan who counters or challenges the narrative of the ideological security state.

Without going into merits of the case, obvious contradictions in the ‘evidence’, or political motivations behind it, it is evident that it is at the crux of a matter vital to Pakistan’s politics, that is, whether Pakistan is going to be run by a civilian elected government along the lines of a parliamentary democracy that ensures fundamental rights, or along the lines of a ideological narrative dictated by the security establishment that holds fundamental rights subservient to its interpretation of ‘national security’.

Too many people in Pakistan have fallen to the ideological monster unleashed by the establishment pursuing a narrow, ideological interpretation of ‘national security’. It is time for a fundamental paradigm shift in Pakistan’s politics, to allow the nation to fulfill its potential as a progressive, forward looking South Asian nation at peace with its neighbours and the world. We urge the Pakistan government, judiciary and security establishment to play their constitutional roles, cooperate with each other and focus on re-establishing the rule of law and in order to make this possible.

In the meantime, be aware that the world is watching to ensure that no harm comes to those who are taking a stand towards this end.

Endorsed (listed alphabetically; names still coming in are being updated; please endorse at this link):
• A. Chhachhi, Sociologist, Netherlands
• Abdul Ghafoor Chaudhry Social Activist Canada
• Abdul Hamid Bashani Khan, Barrister, Solicitor & Notary Public, Canada
• Abdullah Hussein Novelist Lahore
• Afzal Tahir Kashmir International Front/United Kashmir Journal, London, United Kingdom
• Ahmad Rafay Alam, Lawyer
• Ali Kazmi Student Islamabad, Pakistan
• Ali Arqam Blogger, Social Activist Peshawar
• Ammar Yasir, Marketing Head, Tea Break Networks Karachi
• Annie Syedah Student United States
• Anushka Jatoi Student Karachi
• Asif Khan Earth Day Network Washington DC
• Ayesha Humayun Khan Citizen of Pakistan Dubai
• Ayesha Jalal, historian, Boston/Lahore
• Ayesha Siddiqa, Political Scientist, Pakistan
• Beena Sarwar, journalist
• Faisal Mahmood Officer in National Bank Malir
• Faraz Sheikh, social activist, Lahore
• Farooq Tariq, spokesperson Labour Party Pakistan, Lahore
• Fazil Jamili, Poet, Journalist
• Fakhar Ul-Islam Project Manager United Kingdom
• Fayaz Ahmad Historian Peshawar
• Ghazi Salahuddin, journalist and columnist, Karachi
• Hamad Ur Rehman CEO/ a human and social rights activist. Lyallpur.
• Haris Gazdar, researcher
• Harsh Kapoor, South Asia Citizens Web (sacw.net)
• Ibrahim Sajid Malick, Technologist, New York
• Dr. Ijaz Khan Professor of International relations University of Peshawar
• Dr. Ilmana Fasih, physician, health activist, blogger Canada
• Iqbal Alavi, social activist
• Irfan Mufti South Asia Partnership Pakistan Lahore, Pakistan
• Kamyla Marvi Citizen Karachi
• Khawar Mumtaz, Shirkat Gah. Pakistan
• Kiran Nazish Journalist, Activist, Lahore
• Karamat Ali, Labour Rights and Peace activist
• Meera Ghani, Environmental and Peace Activist, Belgium
• Mehmal Sarfraz, Journalist, Lahore
• Mehr Alwy Finance Manager UK
• Michael Renner Researcher U.S. / Germany
• Dr. Mohammad Taqi, Physician & Columnist
• Muhammad Idris Khattak Researcher OSI Pakistan
• Mohsin Sayeed Journalist Karachi
• Moniza Inam, journalist, Dawn, Karachi
• N. D. Pancholi, Secretary, Indian Renaissance Institute, Ghaziabad (UP), India
• Nadeem Yousafi Businessman Peshawar, Pakistan.
• Noman Quadri, student
• Noorjehan Bilgrami Artsist Karachi
• Dr. Osama Siddique, Law Professor, Pakistan
• Pervez Hoodbhoy, Physicist
• Dr Pritam Singh DPhil, Reader in Economics, Faculty of Business, Oxford Brookes University, UK
• Qurratulain Zaman Media Consultant, Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung
• S. Abbas Raza, Editor, 3QuarksDaily.com
• S. M. Naseem, economist
• Saba Hamid, Actor, Pakistan
• Saba Quraishi, activist, United States
• Sabahat Ashraf (“iFaqeer”) Communcator. Citizen. Fakir. Silicon Valley, California
• Sadiqa Salahuddin, educationist, Indus Resource Centre, Pakistan
• Saleha Haque Student University of Salford, UK
• Sana Saleem Activist, Blogger Karachi
• Sarah Suhail Lawyer
• Sehba Sarwar Writer
• Shahla Haeri, Associate Professor of Anthropology, Boston University
• Shandana Mohmand, Political Scientist, UK
• Shahnawaz Student Karachi
• Shama Noman Educationist
• Shayan Afzal Khan, Citizen and activist, Pakistan
• Shahzad Ahmad Country Coordinator, Bytes for All, Pakistan
• Siddharth Nayak Managing Director , The Jurists ; President : All India Law Students Association New Delhi
• Soulat Pasha director Titan Energy Karachi
• Tahera Ahmad Physician Germany
• Tahir Saeed Senior clinical psychologist Ireland
• Tazeen Project Director, Intermedia
• Waqas Ali CRSD Peshawar
• Yasser Latif Hamdani, Lawyer
• Zeeba T. Hashmi Citizen Lahore
• Zohra Yusuf, human rights activist
• Zulfiqar Shah, The Institute for Social Movements, Pakistan Hyderabad

Overcast,

Feelings pitch black like velvety darkness

Enshrouded,

In a shimmering cloak of doubt

Silence,

Of questions unasked and unanswered.

Hands,

Cupped in an oblivion of prayer.

A lull of slow midnight traffic waves,

Ebbs and flows

Dark recedes with the first kiss of dawn

The Sun weaves threads of gold

Sparks from the glow of Truth.

This is from my film review assignment for a class. Since I haven’t had a chance to post anything on here, here’s something =)

Midnight in Paris

         The romantic comedy “Midnight in Paris” is director Woody Allen’s nostalgic ode to the city of Paris. The film begs for the audience to think about the past. Why do we reminisce about old memories? What makes us romanticize them? Allen sets his film in Paris to explore these central questions.
Thus the City of Light unites all the characters in the film in an existential journey of self-exploration and ennui. While it is largely based on the life of a Hollywood screenwriter and aspiring novelist Gil (Owen Wilson), the first three minutes of “Midnight in Paris” feature different parts of the city in a musical montage. The audience sees some of Paris’ most famous sites like the Louvre, Musee des Arts Forains, Musee Rodin, Hall of Mirrors at Versailles, Place Dauphin and the Shakespeare & Co. bookstore.   The different emotions that Paris evokes in the film’s characters are fundamental to their growth.
The movie follows Gil’s journey of self-growth and development as a writer, and the nostalgia that polishes it. It is a poignant story about idealism, dreams and yearning for the past. In fact, Gil’s novel is a parallel to his own life as it features something called a “nostalgia shop.” It is even more interesting that Owen Wilson as Gil caricatures Woody Allen himself in a real-life parallel to the film. This captures Allen’s classic comic style that has come to characterize his films, like Zelig.
Gil is engaged to be married to Inez (Rachel McAdams), a wealthy young woman who yearns for the status quo like her Republican and successful parents. While Inez wants to settle in the young city of luxury, Malibu, Gil is nostalgic for Paris in the 1920s. Though the two characters proclaim their love at the start of the film, their different dreams and ideals in life leads them apart. Paris in the rain, a romantic image in Gil’s mind is very unattractive to Inez, and that’s the beginning of a drift in their relationship.
This is the first film after The Wedding Crashers starring Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson on-screen together, and both actors do an excellent job in their parts, although this film shows the characters growing apart, unlike The Wedding Crashers. Wilson plays the role of a distracted Californian Gatsby who yearns for inspiration in Paris just as the Fitzgerald character had looked for a green light of hope in The Great Gatsby.  McAdams, on the other hand captures an enterprising young woman of wealth who has clear – albeit materialistic – goals in life. Both actors are well-suited to their parts, and in fact Woody Allen re-wrote the screenplay to make the idealist Gil more of a West Coast character than he originally was.
Gil’s writing and his words all show a desire to recreate the present and a longing for the Lost Generation: Earnest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, T.S. Eliot etc., all literary idols who have caricaturist cameos in the film.  The film explores the theme of every generation yearning for a “golden age” in the past. This is demonstrated best when a lead love interest in the film, the lovely and alluring Adriana (Marion Cotillard), who is Pablo Picasso’s mistress, is shown to be nostalgic for La Belle Epoque and late 19th century Europe. While Gil desires for adventure in the Roaring Twenties, Adriana for cultural modernity in a pre-World War I France. Thus Woody Allen explores nostalgia and an innate human desire for the past.
A theme of reality versus illusion also casts its shadow on a film that is characteristic of Woody Allen’s caricature comedy style. Paul (Michael Sheen), a pseudo-intellectual character with little regard to history inspires Gil’s bored love interest Inez. This is most clear in a scene in which the tour guide, played by French First Lady Carla Bruni, corrects a self-righteous Paul about historical facts. The film is a critique of the age of modernism, in which people today are enchanted by pretense and fakeness.
The film is very successful in how it uses lighting and music to recreate this theme of yearning and nostalgia in its audience’s minds. The music is cascading, and its soft tones create a romanticized atmosphere. The Jazz Age is emphasized through carefully selected tracks. The film is characterized by songs like the Cole Porter classic “Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love”, seducing the audience to fall in love with Paris. The film is heavily visual, with the 1920s revelry contrasted with La Belle Epoque, and of course, the present with the year 2011. The camera lens filter creates a sense of timelessness, recreating Paris for the audience.
Midnight in Paris is magical, the film suggests, and every midnight, Gil waits on the steps of Rue Montagne St. Genevieve for a  1920s Peugeot Landaulet to transport him to a time and age he thirsts for. This surreal image is transfixed in the audience’s minds as they too relate to his feelings and yearn for a past as created in Midnight in Paris.